Saturday, August 14, 2010

میرا جھنڈا

اگر آفتیں حکمرانوں سے منسوب ہیں تو خدا نے یہ بھی کہا ہے کہ جیسے کوئی قوم عمل کرے گی ویسا ہے اس پی حکمران مسلط کیا جائے گا
آج بھی یاد ہے کہ جب کبھی گھر میں جھنڈیاں لگاتے تھے تو جب تک شام کو اتار نہ لیتے، سونے کی اجازت نہ ملتی.اور اگر کبھی غلطی سے لگانے کے دوران یا بعد میں کوئی جھنڈی خراب ہو جاتی   تو خیر نہ ہوتی. امی کا وہ لیکچر آج بھی یاد ہے
کبھی ایسا نہ ہوا کے ١٤ اگست نہ منایا ہو. آج پہلی مرتبہ ہاسٹل میں منایا. حیرانی ہوئے کہ میسج کے علاوہ کسی نے کوئی اہتمام نہ کیا
خیر میرے پاس جھنڈا تھا، کمرے کے بہار لگانے کا فیصلہ کیا. چند دوستوں نے سراہا تو چند نے منا کیا. شاید انہیں علم تھا
ایک ادارہ جہاں علم کو پھیلایا جاتا ہے، جہاں ہر شخص پڑھا لکھا ہے، ہر کوئی کسی اچھے گھرانے سے تعلق رکھنے کا دعویدار ہے، ایک وفاقی یونیورسٹی، جو ملک کے کسی دور دراز پسماندہ علاقے میں نہیں بلکے ایک فیصل آباد میں ہے، جہاں پورے ملک سے لوگ پڑھتے ہیں، وہاں بھی ایسے لوگ ہیں
پتا نہیں، کیوں، اس کے والدین نہیں تھے یا وہ بھی ایسے ہے تھے. وہ علیحدگی پسند تھا یا ملک سے بیزار. اس نے کمرے کے باہر سے جھنڈا اتارا، پاؤں تلے روندا اور ایک کونے میں پھینک دیا
ایک دوست نے گذرتے ہے دیکھا تو اٹھا لیا. ابھی اٹھ کرگیا ہے،کہہ رہا تھا کہ اگر یہ اس قوم کے اعمال ہیں تو اس پر جتنی آفتیں یں کم ہیں. کیونکہ اگر آفتیں حکمرانوں سے منسوب ہیں تو خدا نے یہ بھی کہا ہے کہ جیسے کوئی قوم عمل کرے گی ویسا ہے اس پی حکمران مسلط کیا جائے گا. کسی کو جوتا پڑنے پر خوش ہونے والوں کو سوچنا چاہیے، کہ جو جوتا خدا پوری قوم کے منہ پر مر رہا ہے، اس سے کیسے بچا جائے.  کیا آج ہم اپنے اعمال درست نہیں کر سکتے؟ ورنہ گمراہی اور تباہی یقینی ہمارا مقدار ہے
میں تو صرف اتنا کہ سکتا ہوں
 LOVE it or LEAVE it

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Feeling Wild Horse

Me Myself

Who am I?
I? A small question….too many answers.
No one can answer it. The question should be,

Who is Me?
I know who is in ‘Me’. Yes I know this. Let me answer it on time line.
When ‘Me’ was born, ‘Me’ was not artistic in nature. But ‘Me’ was different and was destined to make it. ‘Me’ wore the coat of creativity. No one to teach, no one could. ‘Me’ was different. All the time, ‘Me’ was pushed back but ‘Me’ was not made by nature. ‘Me’ make myself. ‘Me’ had worked hard to be.

At the moment, ‘Me’ and my future is being decided but ‘Me does not believe on future’ ‘Me’ has earned the privileges to make it.

‘Me’ is not a race horse who runs to win and is served good food for staying silent in stable but a wild horse that is happy to graze grass but runs free. ‘Me’ knows running and just running.

“‘Me’ wants not to conquer the world but to steal the dreams, win hearts, enlighten the eyes and never runs alone leaving others behind but runs in ………with everyone.
‘Me’ made a small promise to myself. Whatever ‘Me’ gets will belong to those who are deprived of it. ‘Me’ and myself are for those who need. Whatever ‘Me’ learnt shall be used for everyone around near and far.

Me…….not a person but a heart, a beating heart, a mind, an active mind and prayers, my  parent’s prayers.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

am I same as world? or I am worse of it

Most often I think world is a bad place to live and peoples are really bad. Then in silence with just me, I reconsider. I find some things which come to my mind most often but I neglect them. Then I peek on them. What does these mean? OR does they mean at all? YES, they do.
What I see or I feel is what I am myself. I am myself the same as the world I wonder at, OR to accept the truth I am the worse part of it.
One of the some examples from my last few days that are stretching my mind is Maaz. I saw a movie trailer shared by him on FaceBook in Ramzan. I felt really bad. I asked him to remove it and not do this again and avoid himself watching this stuff in Ramzan. Wait a minute. It was from movie Wake Up Sid featuring Ranbir Kapoor and Konkona Sen Sharma (amazing I remember the names, though I am not good at this). I am at home away from my DSL connection at hostel. What if I had been there? I did not saw it here as my poor PTCL Vfone cannot stream it but if I had been there, I might have seen this, I guess at least as I currently have plans to surely watch it afterwards.
Am I the same as world? No, I am the worse part of it. I got two faces.
There are few students in my class, who accompany teachers to their offices after the class and are also found often visiting them simply to create a good image and get extra marks. I tease them and make fun of them. Wait a minute. Don’t I do so? No, I never did so but in a sense I do it. Always sitting at front desk, raising hand first of all when teacher asks a question, always doing homework neat & clean order and above all trying to be an active and interactive student in class. There might be hardly any teacher, I am not free with. Am I not always trying to create a good image and get better marks?
Am I the same as world? No, I am the worse part of it. I am double faced.
Everyone makes mistake in one’s life and then justifies it. Some justify by lies, some by lame excuses. They all are story-tellers. I hate those guys. Whenever I find anyone doing this, it is most probable that I’ll go to the person they are trying to deceive and tell him the truth. Or at least tell that story-teller that he is not doing good and he’ll suffer one day for that. Wait a minute. Am I not myself a story-teller? Except Maaz and Ahsin, there is hardly anyone, I have not made a story. Yes it is true. I am so good a story-teller that no one ever comes to know it is a story unless I tell someone myself. Teachers, friends, cousins, others all lie in same category for me. Whenever I want something to happen or not to happen, I make a story.
Am I the same as world? No, I am the worse part of it. I am just me.
[a story removed]
It is a bitter truth to accept but not more than one lies ahead.
Am I ever going to change myself? Answer is a big and clean NO. Yes, it’s true; I am not at all ready to change myself. Whatever I do, I get benefit from: A good image, better marks, inner satisfaction and many others. So why do I change myself. I see no reason to give up to the idea.
I am what I am and I want to be what I am. I am MY FAVORITE after all.
May be I not see the movie trailer (not so favorite actors, also I lack time when at hostel). I am a good student after all (I do my homework neat and clean, always study hard, active in class as I ask questions about lecture, free with teachers as I respect and obey them and I am a good one out of class). My stories never ever brought harm to anyone as far as I know or remember. I did so when I failed to do something in time and needed more to do so but I finished the task in the end.
See, I can easily justify myself. That is why I am MY FAVORITE. I have a good reason for everything I do.
MORAL: I am not as bad as I think I am. (May be more than that)

Monday, August 24, 2009

My First Blog

I am Taha Bin Yahya, writing my first ever blog.
Writing: the most tedious job in the world, at least for me. But I am still doing it.
Do not know why, but still doing.
Have no idea about what to write, but still writing.
Do not know writing what, but still writing.
I have never, in my life, written such a thing. Never, I planned so.
I cannot believe I am doing this.
Laptop on top of lap; my fingers are doing what they are not supposed to.
I do not want to write but still I am…..
What am I writing? No answer I do have.
Still writing…..
Why am I writing? It does not matter. Or it may…
Today I decided to keep a note of my thoughts and ideas. Though useless for the cold world, but they matter to me.
They are my thoughts and they have a full right to bother me time to time and often when I have no time, they do so.
But I am not angry. They are mine and I feel like my duty to preserve them.
A diary, Nah.
Scattered papers, Never.
Yellow tags, Nup.
Side space of my books, seems reasonable.
Still no idea, still lost in thoughts, is my mind so dull to not even think about a handsome place to keep my tiny thoughts?
Is there no space in the BIG WORLD for them?
No. They are mine and I feel like my duty to preserve them and I will.
Thought about a blog. Am I out of my wits? Do I look MAD? Yes a bit….
WHAT: Okay, discuss that later. First think about space.
Any other possible place. Not in sight.
Okay then start with a Blog. I will keep my entire mind here. In this dark and lonely place. Hard for me to bear, but still I have to do this.
Sorry, I couldn’t do better for you. But I promise, I will never leave you alone. I will be here after and after, till I end myself up.
I am getting late. I have to leave. But I will come back. Wait till then.